Gregory Coleman Medical Needs Benefit

UC Irvine awards Gregory Coleman a full Master's degree

2006-04-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

Today is a great day! Today I received for my father his Master's degree in music from the University of California at Irvine. I have to blog & run, but I'll be back to post more details tonight. Look for an article in the OC Register Local section tomorrow 4/12/06.

More info on this great day to come soon....

A letter from Gregory

2005-10-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

My dear friends:
I hope this farewell note will ease some of the pain of our parting. As I write these words, my heart is filled with love, and as you hear these words, may you feel that love in your heart as well.

My life, like yours, has had its streaks of good and bad luck. My greatest luck has been the blessing of two wonderful sons, a caring mother, father, and brother, and a cherished circle of true friends.

Now all of you are here to celebrate the good fortune that brought us together. Our friendship and love has run its visible and tangible course. I have crossed over, made a change, run my earthly course to its end. Put it as you like, we now make our terrestrial farewell.

I am terribly sorry to have left you. I wanted to stay so badly. But all is peaceful now; there is no pain, and may that be solace for us all.

Once again, I would like to share a few things that I have learned through my illness. Perhaps you know these things already. I have been a slow learner however, and it has taken a harsh teacher to reveal these truths to me.

On the goodness of human beings: Most people, by far, want what is good for their fellow man, and will sacrifice greatly to do good. Trust in that. In the goodness of the human heart is reflected the love of God.

Know that happiness comes by finding and following your passion. Make sure that if your time comes, you are on the path of your own choosing, and surround yourself with people who encourage you to follow your dream.

Remember, it is always better to make a mistake being kind.

Never stop learning.

Wear sunscreen every day.

Always put your fingertips close to the frets.

Never forget how precious life is. I knew that my life would come to an end someday, but it seemed distant, impersonal. But death is very personal and surprisingly close at any time.

So, make the pleasures of your life close and personal as well. Look at the sunset and draw it in your mind, feel the colors, taste the changing light. Then seek out another sunset, or flower, or mountain, or seashore, or cloud, or breath of wind on your face.

I will be there to help you be 100% alive. We'll always meet in the mountains, in the forest in the late afternoon when it is full of liquid gold sunshine. The scent of oak, pine, and juniper permeates the air as the woods draw their whispering breath. I will be there.

Now, thank you to so many of my dear friends, and especially to you, my son James, that helped at the end. You saved me more than once and tried to save me once and for all. You held me, fed me, clothed me, gave me time from your life; you loved me, and I felt it every day and in the night.

Gregory

A Special Gathering

2005-09-21T21:20:00.000-07:00

I know Gregory would love to have all of you strap backpacks on and slog miles across the Sierra--something really hard--to get to his celebration, but James and I found a really lovely spot not far from his house: Oak Grove at O'Neill Park. Mark your calendars for:

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 1 AT 10:00 AM
O'NEILL REGIONAL PARK
30892 TRABUCO CANYON RD.
TRABUCO CANYON

http://www.ocparks.com/oneillpark/

Head east all the way out on El Toro Rd. At Cook's Corner, turn right on Live Oak Canyon Rd. and continue on for about 3 miles. You'll see the park entrance to the right. The spot we have reserved is just to the right of the park gate/office.

We encourage all of you to carpool if possible. The park charges $5 per car, and although there's parking near where we'll be, we don't know what our numbers will be.

James and I sat in Oak Grove for a long time this morning just to be sure it has the right kind of magic that Gregory would have loved. It did. You'll know, too, when you see it.

The dress code for Saturday is casual. The ground is leafy and a little uneven in spots, so wear comfortable shoes. There are a few picnic benches off aways, so if you need to sit, please bring a chair. We'll have extras. Don't worry about standing around in the sun, the oak trees form a gorgeous leafy canopy overhead. Our park reservation is good for the entire day; feel free to stay on in the park, pack a lunch, and hike a trail.

Some people are asking if they can bring something. We're bringing Starbucks coffee, juice, water (no booze in the park), so if anyone would like to bring pastries or fruit since it's the morning that would be fantastic.

Gregory's wishes were to bring all his friends together in a beautiful corner of nature and enjoy the moment. As he always said on his voice mail recording after he mentioned where he'd be performing for the week; "Come on out! I'll see you there."

Please RSVP James at jameskun@mac.com with RSVP in the subject line, so we can get an idea about our numbers. Thanks!

Love, Pam

Dad's fight is over

2005-09-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

Dad's long fight with cancer has come to an end. He passed away last night in peace. The room was filled with the kind of wonderful quiet he always loved. Dad was surrounded by loved ones who whispered beautiful things to him when all he had could do was listen. I held him and told him what a brave man, beautiful person and wonderful father he has been.

Dad asked me to carry out his final wishes. One of them is that there will be a grand wake. We will all mourn his passing. But Dad wanted us to celebrate all the beauty there is in life.

I will share the arrangements and details with you on this web log as soon as I can. Feel free to leave a comment for all, but you can also email me at jameskun@mac.com.

Dedication

2005-09-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

A few thoughts for all of us as Greg M. and I get ready to go over to the Coleman Keep for a morning of breakfast and visiting with James and Gregory.

One dear friend said recently that what really fascinated her about Greg when her son started taking lessons from him years ago, was that he had dedicated his life to music. He didn't just play part time (like most of us), but filled every hour with art (I'm sure his mountain climbing was artful) and helped us all to feel the passion he felt at a piece of music suffused with genius, or at the beauty of a simple E chord on the guitar. She said she had never met a person so dedicated to art.

And now we learn firsthand about the people who dedicate themselves to caring for the ill. Not the chemical geniuses or the docs with the rocket ship lasers, but the experienced people who know just how to help a sick person into a wheelchair, or into a bed. Those whose job it is to stay up all night and watch when loved ones can no longer do it all. They could have other jobs, easier jobs with easier hours, but they choose caretaking and nursing. Understated love and calm strength to help us all.

The teams line up

2005-09-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

Even on a three-day weekend. Efrain, Jennifer, Samirah, Pam, Mark W., Clyde, Kindness. Each person I know brings a special
feeling. Jennifer has kept the faith for almost three years now since diagnosis, and never failed. Samirah I haven't seen in 14 years, and reconnected at last. I want to write about every one, I don't know that I will have the time. I certainly won't have the time to teach my 85 year old mother about blogs, but if she ever does, she is my hero of the lifetime. much less hero of the week. Goodnight all.

Gregory

Searching

2005-09-02T16:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends:
My latest adventure was driving up to LA through holiday traffic to redo the CT scans they screwed up on yesterday. But it went really really well. Capt and Com. James Coleman , Rosemary Shadwick as helmswoman and pilot , Shiloh as man Purser and Supercargo, we made it there and back.

I am looking for some nursing help, day or night help. I have to ask for recommendations. The yellow pages say that I am just outside the area for help, So I am turning to you reccomendations. Help!!!.

Also, many are quite concerned about my spiritual welfare No doubt, my prayers are bonded with yours as they ascend up to God at night. Give my personal relationship the opportunity of growing with God. He loves you and me both in ways we cannot understand.

Much love to you all

Gregory Coleman

An update for everyone

2005-09-01T21:22:00.000-07:00

Dad's home. I've received many email and phone messages in the past several hours asking what the outcome was today. The docs at USC are now in the planning phase prior to starting the cyber-knife treatment. The planning may take up to two weeks, so for now, we're home. Dad sends everyone his love. The tribe sends everyone our thanks for ongoing support. More details later.

Don't give up the ship

2005-08-26T20:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends, thanks for all of your notes. I will tell you, in the middle of the night what a difference it makes. Pam will cetainly tell you that truth.

Yesterday was a day at the hospital doing cutting edge (ouch) stuff. Just amazing. James coordinated the day, Shiloh showed up with extra muscle, things went well. I am home recovering. I can't always answer the phone, but I send you my love, all my love. The more you give away the more you have

Your friend

Gregory

Blogging from USC

2005-08-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

Dad made it safely to USC Norris today - I'm blogging from the hallways on the second floor where dad is getting implanted with coordinates for the cyber-knife treatment of a tumor scheduled to begin sometime next week.

I think I should share with everyone that dad loves receiving your comments- even just a hello. I share with dad how often this site gets visited- by hundreds of friends, students, family and others. This site connects many of us, and the thoughts and feelings warm dad's heart.

Dad will visit this blog again tonight, as he has every night for the last few months. Please feel free to leave a note, even just to say "hi".

The Littlest Colmunicator

2005-08-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

My Grandson, Joseph Gregory, had his own Sunday schedule. Here he is in all his young sweetness sending out messages of love to Shiloh, Trisha, and Grandpa. I think he wanted some of that french toast. We'll work on his speed, 'cause he could certainly muscle all he wanted. He is a keeper.

A Moveable Feast

2005-08-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

Dad (Greg) and his tribe are at Coleman Keep in Trabuco Canyon, and despite dad not being able to make it to Britta's - our Sunday tradition - Britta's came to us, almost literally. Britta not only prepared the food, but also sent a care package composed of table items to recall our regular Sunday experience - the checkered tablecloth, rosemary sprigs and a handwritten note.

I called in the orders, Motomi picked up this morning's 'moveable feast'. Margie coordinated and we ate! All our loved ones are with us in spirit this morning. Hat's off to Greg Mirken with a nod to Ernest Hemingway for this entry's title.

Colmunication

2005-08-21T02:20:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago I wrote about the "Coleman-ism" of pouring maple syrup into coffee. We were breakfasting, and I thought Greg had picked up the wrong little pitcher, expecting it to be cream. But no, he explained, he wasn't being chemo-brainey, he actually likes maple syrup in his coffee.

Tonight as we all sat eating and drinking (those of us who keep opiates in our cheek pouches had virgin scorpions, the rest of us had real, stinging scorpions) Greg coined a new Coleman-ism: Col-municating. We do it by putting our heads very close together, as in a hug, and speak softly of the most important subjects, like life and death, wisdom and love.
And the greatest of these, I have heard it said, is love.

A little addendum...

2005-08-20T18:35:00.000-07:00

Ornery and determined mountain climber that he is, and despite the immense difficulty in walking from here to there these days, yesterday Gregory practiced quite a few leg squats between the bed and the dresser, with an audible "f*** you melanoma" mantra on the intake.

That was followed by quite a delightful and detailed analysis of a Francisco Tárrega piece.

Getting spoiled

2005-08-20T14:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends:
I had a pretty good night last night. Managed balance to all the meds on the head of a pin (very difficult). James was here to strong arm me, and Samirah kept the nurrsing going (I think they play good-cop/good-cop).
Next week I go back to the hospital for some out-patient work, than it is Back to the Future. Keep all fingers crossed, windows rolled up at speeds In excesst of C2, and you must be highter than this sign to get this vitamin R. (Roentgen)

See you soon!

Gregory

Music of the Spheres

2005-08-18T23:35:00.000-07:00

Tonight I played for the Maestro again. And I played for each one of you who has wanted to play for him, in sickness or in health. It was the music of the spheres; it just came to me through your thoughts and players, and I played in on my harp. It helped him to sleep.

We know that you're thinking of Gregory, because technology allows us to see how many people visit this site. Rest assured that although his fight is getting harder, he's snug in his own little home with his tribe attending to him.

Same old miracle

2005-08-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

Dear dear friends:
I always wish for better news for you and me both. A degree of pain has gone down, but not enough, so now we appeal to a cyber-knife. Whoa there pardner. Do I get to play with the cyber-sword or cyber M-16. No? Well, just why not? Anyway, the fight goes on.

I truly miss you

Will see each other soon, I know it.

God bless you for your thoughts and prayers

and there is no reason not to celebrate life, even though sometimes this one seems not to fit.

Gregory

Progress report, and many thanks

2005-08-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

Dear friends:
Well, the bad news is the enemy within in growing, the good news, slowly. Then bad news is that doctors are not all-powerful, the good news is that they make super-human efforts to save lives and bring comfort. Thank you Dr. Weber. Thank you Dr. Weber.

I have had to start a daily radiation treatment for a 14-day program up in LA to stop or slow the growth of a tumor pressing on my spine. Ouch! You #$ darn 0l" %!!%* thing. The treatment is very easy. Five minutes on the table, with a few light hearted comments from staff and and I am out of there!

So, on we go. Now don't forget your part in this. I am not talking about the wonderful giving of rides up to LA at the ungodly hours, although that certainly counts. I mean, you enjoy every second of your life, breath the sun in and out, and put everything in perspective. You won't get everything you ever asked for, but you will get some joy and peace, some love and laughter, and that is so wonderful. Is that what it's all about? If so, is that so bad?

I miss you all. Drop a comment.

By the way Motomi, the jeans fit great. Thank you.

Gregory

Too Much To Ask

2005-07-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, and barely a few hours before the medical consultation from Hell described in James' post (where is my daughter who knows everyting about apostrophes when I need her?), Pam and Greg and I were sitting in the hospital scene pictured near this post. I'd been downstairs and brought back a couple of lattes and muffins, and we had settled in with the newspaper, quietly determined to superimpose a normal day on top of what is after all a pretty surreal scene. Greg and Pam were doing a math puzzle and I was interrupting them by reading aloud favorite turns of phrase from Times auto Critic Dan Niel's column.

Somehow the subject turned to Marie Curie and Herr Doktor Roentgen (our minds are much taken up with radiation these days), and how they absolutely had to do science. Next, Spanish poet Garcia Lorca popped up, and from him other artists who were simply compelled to do their art. We who share Greg's guitar-centric world differ only in degree--we simply must play the guitar, whether we are great players or not. It is part of our very humanity. There are also medical scientist/artists whose determination can help us so much. I suppose we really cannot ask that as well as amazing powers of memory and deduction, alchemy and manual delicacy, they also have perfect emotional sense, diplomacy and tact.

Thank you, Britta!

2005-07-30T01:51:00.000-07:00

Most if not all of us take the simple, wonderful things in life for granted. I have proof: when was the last time you cherished every minute of breakfast? After dad and I got out of the hospital today, the first thing we did was go to dad's favorite place... Britta's Cafe.

For those of you not in the know, Britta's is one of those few places where service still rules and the food is excellent. My wife Motomi and I took dad there a couple months ago for Sunday Brunch.. dad simply loved it... we had no idea then that we had started a family tradition. One dish in particular really stands out for dad with his medication-restricted tastebuds: Britta's French Toast. It's not just a breakfast.. it's about 30 minutes of pure bliss for dad in a day filled with countless challenges and often much pain.

After being released from the hospital this morning, dad and I arrived at Britta's today at 2PM, three hours past the end of breakfast and the french toast on the menu. It was nearly empty following lunchtime.. Britta and our waitress were in the back near the kitchen. Our waitress seated us. Dad said something to the effect of "I know it's late, but can you possible still..." and the waitress gently interjected, "Britta saw you walk in, and she wanted me to tell you that the kitchen will make you the French Toast." Dad looked up at our waitress with the widest smile, looking almost like he was going to cry.

The rest of the meal was great. Pam, Greg & Margie joined us, and I'm so glad we had this time together to enjoy a moment after a trying week.

Something as simple as a French Toast breakfast could certainly have fallen outside the bounds of 'daily business operations'. But it didn't today. Thank you, Britta, for your part in making this day beautiful.

A greeting from the Maestro

2005-07-28T19:48:00.000-07:00

I think that James' "Dammit Jim" post is a good update. Let me say "thanks" once again for all the help and support.

It's not getting any easier for any of us, I realize that. Please know that I feel your caring thoughts, and in the middle of a terrifying night, I am comforted. Do you know that then I turn to God and to you? I think of our times together, as family, as teacher, as student, as friend; I re-live the good times and am thankful that we got through tears together if we had to.

Well, I played guitar today. Improvised a little throw-away piece for a while and then moved on to Tarrega gems; Adelita!, Lagrima, and the Muzurka in G. My father's guitar teacher once told me, "Gregory, you can spend your whole life getting better at playing Adelita!." He was so right. Then I moved on to the Courant from the third 'cello suite by J.S. Bach. Too much. Could't quite make it. Tomorow I hope.

Please send me a card, snail mail, comment on this blog, a phone call. I love you all.

Gregory

'Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a bartender!'

2005-07-28T18:46:00.000-07:00

This Tuesday dad was admitted to the hospital right after a routine visit. Dad's primary physician, Dr. Jeff Weber, followed the pain clues and a subsequent MRI scan to reveal a tumor pressing sharply against the spinal cord. This threat is serious- pressure on the spinal cord can cause anything up to and including paralysis, loss of bodily control, and more. And it can happen fast.

Only two options really exist for this situation- radiation or neurosurgery followed by radiation. The latter is a risky and dangerous option that doesn't guarantee any results. According to one doctor here, in a clinical trial involving 100 patients with similar tumors where 50 received surgery and radition and the other 50 only received radiation, there was virtually no difference in survival rate or length of survival after treatment.

The doctors decided to utilize extremely strong, sharply focused radiation to beat the tumor back, shrinking it so as to relieve the pressure against the spine. We just finished the third radiation session a couple hours ago [just to satisfy you comic book junkies- dad hasn't manifested any super powers yet, but he has several more radiation sessions to go].

So right after admission, at least a dozen different doctors, nurses and medical students all come into the room at different times. Most of them asked the same 1-2 dozen questions ("can you feel your feet?" "are you numb anywhere?" "how are your reflexes?") then proceeded to run dad through a series of reflex tests (kindof like the one where they tap your kneecap with a ballpeen hammer, only various and different). The general consensus was a) this guy is a seriously tough dude to be walking around in so much pain, b) he's got complete functionality of his body, c) he's strong as a horse, all things considered and d) man, can this guy play guitar or what. The docs said radiation makes the most sense, no surgery at this time.

So the next day (yesterday), in walks a neurosurgeon that apparently had not consulted with dad's primary doc and begins to describe in all the gory detail what the surgery would be like, cutting into this, through that, from both sides, etc. He even states that once the surgery is completed, anything could still go [horribly] wrong. Then he states more or less that he hopes dad does not need his services. OK, so dad's sitting there, pretty much horrified and agast. What was this guy thinking?

After this guy leaves, you can imagine the state of mind dad was in. All of the doctors, nurses and staff to follow found a patient who had been shocked into the most severly negative state of mind, and for good reason. It took Dr. Weber and a few other doctors and nurses some time and energy to get dad back into shape again. All because this other doctor didn't say "I'm going to get a little graphic on you, because it's my job to do so. Are you ready?" before beginning.

That doctor's been since described as suffering from a congenital lack of bedside manner (Think of Bones on the original Enterprise, only Vulcan instead of Human). The lesson learned here is that one of the challenges a patient must face when battling a disease can be the personality of a left-brained, well-educated and superbly trained doctor on whom one relies for survival. I am not angry at the doctor. It's his job to be honest and completely up front. I thank him and his colleagues every day for saving my dad's life.

Star of the Week July 17

2005-07-17T18:41:00.000-07:00

This week's star is so obvious that those of you who know her will agree. Mary Barrus is not only my aunt :-) but everyone's aunt. She will champion your every dream and will support your every need. One of Greg's biggest fans for the last 24 years, she holds the record for buying the most copies of Greg's CD, Isla California, and I believe his CD Sarabande of the Distance, as well. In recent weeks she has:

--donated copies of Isla California to the music department of the central branch of the San Diego Public Library and the California State History Museum in Sacramento.

--raised the idea of petitioning UCI to grant Greg his master's degree based on conversations with a friend of hers who sits on the graduate admissions committee at UCSD. (James and I are pursuing this.)

--sent checks so generous that Greg can eat every Sunday morning (something he looks forward to all week) for months to come at his favorite cafés: Britta's and the Corner Bakery. She told us that by sending a "little" donation, it is her way of being present with us in spirit.

Mary, you're not just an extraordinary star but a real champion. Greg, James, Motomi, and I send our love and gratitude.

A treatment history

2005-07-10T19:45:00.000-07:00

I am asked on a regular basis what treatment I am currently going through. Perhaps a summary would be helpful.

In February of 2003 I did a series of treatments which combined agents that stimulate the body's immune system, combined with chemotherapy agents that kill cancer cells. This is referred to as bio-chemo therapy. I then went on a program of Interleukin 2 injections at home from about May of 2003 To January of 2004. I was then administered an agent identified as MDX, a phase II trial, which did not work at all. In July of 2004 I was back in the hospital undergoing high dose treatments of Interleukin 2, with mixed success, but not enough success to continue the brutal treatment.
In September of 2004 I began visits to the Cancer Therapy and Research Center in San Antonio, Texas. I received an outpatient treatment of an experimental phase I trial drug identified as LBH-589. It stopped some tumor growth, but was so hard on me physically that I ended up in the hospital twice with pneumonia.
I then applied for an adoptive cell transfer treatment at the NCI in Washington, DC, but was turned down. That chewed up some time.
Next was an unsuccessful treatment based around taxoI, an FDA approved chemotherapy drug derived from the bark of the yew tree. This brings us up to date, as I have just finished a treatment with temodar and thalidomide that was not effective.
At this point we are looking for other options. Of course there are a few experimental drugs out there. It is just a matter of timing (that is, living long enough get past FDA approvals of trial drugs).

I want you to also know that diet, acupuncture, supplements, yoga, excercise and chiropractic have been a big help.

Some of my friends, as well as strangers, pray for miracles. We have had them already: I am still here, and able to give and receive love.

Gregory

star of the week 7/8

2005-07-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

My heartfelt thanks to Margie Mirken. We found out many years ago that we are distantly related (her mother's maiden name was Coleman). As it turns out in this time of trouble, she has fulfilled every hope and dream that I could have for a loving and supportive family member. This week she accompanied my son James and I (actually she drove as well) to a critical visit with my physician, Dr. Weber. She held James and I up, as the going was very tough. She and her husband Greg have been there from the beginning of this "adventure" in so many ways. She has cleaned my house, been a spiritual counselor, cooked what meals I have been able to keep down, taken me into their home, even physically kept me from passing out during the worst of the chemotherapy side effects.
I have really learned what family means through Margie. Thank you.

Gregory